Why people have extramarital affairs?
Chat about a loaded matter that no one wants to speak about, that’s it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on from the beginning of the world. Extramarital relationships can be loaded with evils, cause sadness, and other troubles. Also you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness thing, funds, age difference, spiritual education, guilt, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I should define an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, married women for dating.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are men seeking an affair. I am sure mostly though it is just the human nature, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
In nature we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and exciting, and sex makes us get away the real world for a brief period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Some people are able to switch the longing on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another person, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos people has erected against extra-marital affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will defeat their worries and make them risk the anger of not only their relatives, but the public too. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is horribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not harm your relatives or anyone else? You would need to lessen the risk you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest group, very big really. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, apart from they feel comfy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the children to think about. Your money are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay jointly besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair sometimes solves the problem while keeping the marriage whole.
Ignoring, sadly this is a regular cause I fear. One or the other, generally the man is sexually neglecting his spouse for a number of reasons. As a man I really appreciate you guys neglecting your girls and making them available to us males of romance, making them “milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, could be compassion is not here, maybe it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Could be we have simply grown apart, our ordinary concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is diverce of what you want. Maybe I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they seek the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for financial gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair